I came to a decision last night. I will not be playing poker for real money again for the foreseeable future.
Is this a knee-jerk reaction to a bad night at the tables? Yes and no. True, I had a losing night last night, and it put me off the game. But as I look at my results over the past year, they are quite negative. I have had a few winning sessions and tournament cashes, but the losses outnumber the wins by much more than I like. No, I'm not in danger of missing my house payment or not feeding my family - not by any means. I play for very low stakes. The problem is, I'm having less and less fun playing. Losing certainly makes for less fun. Could I work at it, and study the books, and take pages of notes on other players, and do all the things that make successful players? Yes, I could. But I have other things in my life that I prefer to spend my time on, and I don't feel like I have the innate talent to make that work come to me easily enough to make the effort pay off.
For the moment I plan to play less poker overall, and only play for free when I do. There are plenty of freeroll tournaments and play money games on line that I can get into. I will probably continue playing in the Amateur Poker League tourneys, for as long as I can stand the second-hand smoke. I will most likely sell off the majority of my poker book collection (contact me if you want to buy some, cheap, and I will send you a list). Will I ever decide to get back into the game "for real"? I don't believe in saying "never" about nearly anything, so who knows? But I need to get away from it now.
I don't expect to update this blog for the foreseeable future either, not that I have written much here anyway. Or that very many people even know that this blog exists. If you read this, thanks for stopping by.