Sunday, November 05, 2006

Should I stay or should I go?

I haven't posted in a while, as I guess you can tell from looking at the date of this post and the date of the last one. I've been playing some, but not enjoying it all that much. I feel like I have forgotten much of what I have learned up to this point about how to play poker correctly. I also feel like I have so much more to learn, it's overwhelming.

I have a running joke with my wife, where almost every day I say that I am giving up poker. She knows that I don't mean it, and we laugh about it. But there are days, which lately seem to come more frequently, when I mean it a bit more than she thinks. I wonder if I should get over my "obsession" with poker and find another hobby. Usually I enjoy playing, but sometimes I think that the time I spend playing might be better spent doing something else. I worry that it occupies too much time that I ought to be spending with my wife and son. Neither of them is interested in playing, unfortunately.

I also wonder if I have the mental discipline to get better as a poker player. I have bought numerous books about the game, and read something in all of them, but I haven't really studied them closely, to make the effort to improve my game beyond the elementary school level. It seems too much like work, and I want poker to be fun. On the other hand, at least if I do fairly well in poker, the game can pay for itself. I don't want to be the kind of player who is always raiding the cookie jar for poker money because he always loses.

I know that I will continue to play for the time being. I will try to learn more about improving my game, and not make too many donkey plays because I am tired, or trying to get cute. I hope to keep my online bankroll intact, if not growing, so I can sustain my playing time without having to worry about the possible deposit hassles that may come with the UIGEA. We will see whether poker continues to be a source of fun for me, or a source of frustration or friction.

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